Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
I just threw up every bad decision and it hurts
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Bro you were on fire last night...like a less Irish version of Liam Neeson
I'm pretty sure I smell like alcoholism and shame. And it's not a pretty scent.
I'm about to take plan-b with a glass of wine and ramen noodles. I cannot decide who will hurt more...my vagina, my kidneys or my pride.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize
