she was so not down for the gang bang
The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
Fuck buddy has no power. Invited her over to use my shower. I love hurricaines.
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
And by "hammer out the details" you know I mean spending 20 minutes on wedding plans then getting wine drunk, right?
So the keyword here is "hammered"?
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
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