everything was going good until you started showing off the pictures of poop you took with your phone
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
You couldn't find your shoe so you introduced yourself as Cinderella for the rest of the night.
Ahh that explains the text from creepy mike saying he would be my prince charming.
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
I added a U.S. Senator on snapchat....casual.
I have an important idea to tell you when I'm sober about a cat scratching my nose once and what it taught me. DONT LET ME FORGET.
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize
