I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
was it morally wrong to have used his girlfriends makeup after i fucked him?
I'm really tired of your booty call eating my fruity pebbles.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Just found a peacock feather in my car. Should I be the least bit concerned about this?
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
I got kicked out of the hotel after wandering into the banquet kitchen at 2am trying to find the shrimp....so we're power napping in the car and then driving to madison.
Your headphones are on the door knob and I left you a burger on the door step.
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
Randomize
