Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
We went into lab today and when no one was looking i touched our cadaver's penis!
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
we're decorating our christmas cookies with birth control. so pretty.
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
Mom and I are both drunk and walking around the Strip. It's like the hangover but with a lot more bathroom breaks.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
Is this because I accidentally peed on you?
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Randomize
