Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
Her name is Sherri and her sister's are Brandy and Champagne. Of course I want to meet her parents.
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
To the person who put the glitter on my ceiling fan...fuck you
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
last night someone said that theyd like to do drugs with a dolphin ... judging from the diagram on the wall we figured it out.
all we need now is a dolphin ... and some drugs.
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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