Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
I wish his dick was as long as his hair.
I think I suffocated him while I was riding his face
at one point i was feeding a guy sour cream chips and he made me make the "choo choo" noise as they were going in. \ni feel so much closer to him now.\n
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
My dick was almost in plain McDonald's sight
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
fuck it. from now on whatever room i wake up in, i'm stealing clothes from. this walk of shame shit is too much without pants
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
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