I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm pretty sure that when my parents bought me those savings bonds they thought it would go towards something useful like tuition. Not your bail.
I told you I'd buy you lunch.
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
Me and this 7 year old almost finished a large pizza. And when I say me and this 7 year old I really mean me.
Girl at work pointed out that the blood vessels around my eyes were all popped and I smell like puke
Circle jerk is a real thing. It looks like five innocent virgins in a closet at my brother's bar mitzvah. Yeah, I walked in on that.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I think Facebook knows you fucked me. All of a sudden I get everything you do in my news feed.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
