if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Dude there is a stripper at my door saying she has my birthday present. She knows my name...but it's not my birthday...
God works in mysterious ways my friend.
She sent me nudes via email. What the fuck are we still in the 90s? Grow up
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
When I woke up I had 6 missed calls making sure I was ok and asking if I remember showing my tits to a picture of her baby.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
