i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
no, he came in my armpit
heey were did you guys go? last time i remember seeing you i was throwing up in the fountain
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
went for icecream. accidentally deepthroated it. my mom gave me a dirty look, but the kid behind the counter looked impressed
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
Randomize
