Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i licked icing off his dick. in front of his sister.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Nothing says "lifelong friendship" like FaceTiming in a sex shop.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
This morning I found four opened yet full beers on my desk and my towel rack pulled off the wall and in bed with me
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
That's pretty intense. There aren't many people I would pick over a burrito
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
