I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
his ringtone is the jonas brothers. get me the fuck out of here NOW.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
im pretty sure the clearest way to say "dont worry, im not emotionally attached" was by sleeping with his roommate the next night
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
We need to drink more. Just think how awesome it would be to wake up in a trailer and NOT remember how wee got here.
You know.... I ordered the nipple clamps when I was drunk. But on further consideration, THANKS DRUNK ME I LIKE WHATS HAPPENING
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
its weird getting into a political debate with a pony dressed as an anime character online
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
True life: I inadvertently fucked a whole friend group. More details to come tonight.
Randomize
