So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
then she said she was half-a-virgin and that she would appreciate it if i would finish what her old booty call started
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
Do you ever just feel like you can feel hormones radiating from your uterus?
So apparently dinosaur erotica does, in fact, exist.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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