Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
This is what my life has come to. Drinking champagne alone yelling at the dog because no one wants to hang out with me
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
So do you know how we found out he was engaged?
An Amber Alert?
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
She said if you lived here it would be like the x rated version of 3's company
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
