CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
Hey. There is naked girl with "plz don't touch her. She just turned 21" sharpied on her chest. What happened last night?
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Thanks for the morning blowjob. Scientifically proven you can't have a bad day if it starts with a blowjob.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
I’m not sure she knows my name. She introduced me as “the fuck toy”
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