what do you think about when you wanna get rid of a boner?
dying kittens.
There is a guy standing at my bar right now wearing an affliction SUIT. I can't wait on him.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
You suck. You're fired. I need to find a less reasonable voice-of-reason.
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
The woman exiting the men's room tried convincing me she was actually a good-looking man.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
Why'd you print out every dick pic you've ever received and tape them to the bathroom walls?
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize
