I figure if he loans me money i only owe him sex for the rest of the summer before i pay him back, right?
I was just handed a mimosa the size of my head. Stay tuned.
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Jail wasn't bad. Was poppin Xanax the whole way there
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
you pushed her into a kiddie pool and knocked out her front teeth... and you still managed to get laid. what. the. fuck.
They figured our he was high when he told the manager he wanted a break to go wrap his dick in toliet paper and pretend it was a ghost.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
I was weirded out when the chunky goth girl and her boyfriend both started eyeing me and wanted to by me a drink.
It was Thanksgiving sex. I was thankful for it. Need I say more?
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize
