nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.
His car is carseat is compatible. I checked while we were banging in the back seat...
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
Dude she broke four ribs, how does a 110 lb girl break four of my ribs during sex?! It hurts so bad but was so worth it
You know how there are wrinkles in your brain? What if they were filled with potato chips? That's kind of how my head feels now.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
I have to make calls today at work. So I'm gonna call your phone and leave some random messages. Just delete them.
Randomize
