I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
He got so drunk that he tried hitting on a girl using nothing but his Samuel L. Jackson soundboard application on his Iphone
I don't remember anything but yelling at the ref in Spanish.
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
You were ¾ of the way through the first pitcher of margaritas then you turned to me and said "Wow I can barely taste the vodka!" And then…….
...Then...
Then I told you margaritas are made with tequila not vodka. You whipped the pitcher at the wall and ordered another one
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I jumped the fence at the bar last night. My dress got stuck and I ended up flashing the entire patio for a good 30 seconds.
At the 10 second mark everyone started to whistle and cheer. Free drinks all night
The cops asked Ben if he was drunk and he slurred "I'm man enough to admit that I am" with a southern draw
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
Randomize
