she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
someone owes me an orgasm
Just saw a drunk guy marching down the strip with a garden rake. I feel compelled to follw him
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
Using the ceiling fan to slice the hotdogs in mid-air can only be contributed to our liberal use of 1800.
I just had a dream that I was pulling you around downtown on a sled, from bar to bar. Dear lord if we start that there's no hope for us
Teflon bitches. Nothing fucking sticks to this kid, not even a kid. Maury Povitched this shit outta that situation.
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Where's Taylor bro?
Never mind found him under the sink
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
Made out with some dude at the bar last night. Was fun until he thought bohemian rhapsody was by The Who
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
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