Tittie bar + Mother In law gone = mission accomplished.
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
I'm naming my child veloci raptor. And you can be a part of its life if you want. But that's its name. Cause i have the vagina.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
It was not a dingleberry, it was a dinglemelon
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
When you're not at your house I assumed you're somewhere having sex
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
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