I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
Don't let the fact that shes seen my penis discourage you
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
So yeah she lost her virginity in a wheel chair with a broken pelvis. I'm still trying to figure out how I should feel about that.
And I really REALLY don't feel like cleaning cinnamon off my penis tonight.
he made a bon jovi sex playlist and started crying when "i'll be there" came on... how was your night?
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
Crying while listening to Miley Cyrus. BE GLAD YOU JUMPED THIS SINKING SHIP!
We had sex and I never took my mets hat off... I feel like Duda knows and approves.
You full on peed your pants then resurrected yourself like Jesus Christ...
sex on a trampoline, in the rain, on ecstasy, just thought you should know.
My new favorite word is dickbag. I think its relevant here. And I say that with all the love in the world.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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