YOU CAN MICROWAVE POPTARTS!?!??!
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
New first...just saw an entire family of homeless hitch hikers...kids and all. God, i love Oklahoma!
i lost my airplane ticket and tried to board with a bar receipt in all the confusion. i have officially lost all brain cells in college.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I may have to steal the boat sober, but I feel that would be harder to explain.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
I'm dressed as a caveman and drunk so that's not really an option
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
My housemates are judging me because I'm high at 8am and making Spongebob shaped Mac and Cheese
They know nothing, John Stoned.
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
Randomize
