I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
You may see me on espn tomorrow drunk, half naked, and selling articles of clothing to rich cougars like i did last year, but i will NOT be drinking shitty beer
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
Should I tell them about my ticket for possession or about how I'm shitting blood? Which one will gain the most sympathy?
My taste buds are fucked up, everything tastes like fire after last night.
Hey douche face I just want you to know, if you ever got hit by a bus, I'd really miss you.
Only if you died obviously.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
THIS THING HATES MY LIVER
Like tbh you're not doing anything that screams I'm drunk and yet nothing says I'm going to spend $30 on McDonalds and make out with a stranger like that picture
The stripper was super into me until she pulled out my tits then I realized.... This bitch is just using my ass to get MORE TIPS
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
So apparently I fell asleep sitting on the toilet last night while my drunk girlfriend sang to me.
Randomize
