I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
swear to god, just saw some chick dressed in a full chicken costume buying eggs and telling the cashier that she "just wants her babies back."
buy whatever she's on. a lot of it.
Just an fyi, teatherball while wasted might be the hardest sport ever.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
I just wish my penis was a person so I could give him a high five.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Ok maybe now I get why I'm single I think I just broke a rib pooping
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
Who the fuck just called me and played funkytown
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