i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
Fuck now we have to have sex
What?
In a bet, need to win
Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I like to get drunk just like anyone else but not to the point of sticking a rubber tube up my asshole
he calls himself the gay cupid because he matches two guys looking to hookup on craigstlist with each other. get me out of here. please.
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
I couldn't think of the word "bath" so instead I told him I was marinating in soapy water
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Randomize