i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
That's cause you yelled across the parking lot you wanted to eat her out
I lost my keys but found four buffalo wings in my pockets
Steve called. He needs me to pick him up. He also asked for a set of his clothes, he can't find them. He is such a strong motivation to stay sober.
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
The cat hopped on my bed and watched me masturbate naked with a vibrator. I've never felt more sorry in my entire life
Who’s got two thumbs and just got laid in the administration building?
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