I really hope you get sexually violated by a pterodactyl tonight.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Just got gas in my car for the first time while high. Went better than expected.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
I told him I was going to sit on his face after I got out of the shower, he threw up the arm boners and yelled "STEVE HOLT!!" I might actually stop sleeping with other dudes.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
STOP SENDING ME NAKED PICTURES WHEN I'M TRYING TO TEACH. MONDAY TUESDAY 1-3 IS A DICK AND ARSE FREE ZONE
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
