Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
Did you know that when you swallow it's like 60 calories!?
That's okay, it's all protein anyway.
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
True as that may be, are you coming to the birth of my imaginary child or not?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
Brought him brownies before taking his pants off. I'm like the Martha fucking Stewart of booty calls. Walk of shame be damned.
I guess the study abroad went badly, I gave him a joint and he just smoked it and cried all the way from the airport
So I've reached a new low. After completing my walk of shame and being told "see you around", I took off my heels to discover he had came in my shoe.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
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