I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Omg. The nephews found my stripper pole. The scary part is theyre good at it.
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
Remember the thing I sent you? "Often complex problems are best solved by thinking like an animal." Hump away!
he taught all the little kids to ski. it was stupid hot. i'm pretty sure my ovaries exploded.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
Your vagina felt like having sex with thanksgiving mashed potatoes. The best kind of mashed potatoes
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
Our sub is singing "i believe i can fly" after yelling at the class this whole time and this is really hella weird
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