If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
you know that hot chick that stutters? talk about an awkward orgasm
I Just realized that having a picture folder that says "not for mom" may give off the wrong impression to wondering eyes
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
someday when you wake up in a dumpster we'll have to have this conversation again...
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Semen is not good for contacts.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
My philosophy is thug life and that means never having to say your sorry for stealing drinks off tables
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
I thought i was doing pretty well but I walked into my first class and everyone on my side of the room immediately asked how drunk and high I was
Just got hit on by a 28-year old, quadraplegic, triple-cancer-survivor redneck. Now updating bucket list to meet newfound standards.
Randomize
