the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
so we have officially lost him as of 7 hours ago.. already called campus security, the drunk tank and the hospital. figure he'll turn up eventually..
i'll start checking the bushes on campus.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
asked the girl next to us on line to take a picture of us and she shared her bacardi. i love white people.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
we're going to drop off one of our cars at the police station tonight so we'll be able to drive home in the morning
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Even when you're down just know that I will always be the one to pour alcohol into your asshole when you're on probation
Want to go swimsuit shopping? First one who cries buys ice cream.
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
Randomize
