I swear if she hugs me I'm going to bleach my body
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
My mom just informed me that my dog licks their toes while her and my dad are having sex. I'm apartment searching.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Are you really this nice or are you just trying to get in my pants?
Both?
I can do it, this is my punishment and I will accept it, plus id like to see the look on peoples faces when I throw up on them
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
i don't know what happened by from the looks of her lipstick I'd say she was skull fucked by a rhino
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
I'm going for high school drunk, you've got 15 minutes to get here.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Randomize
