Did you REALLY have to twitter about our sex last night?
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
Im sending over a girl who thinks youre in the next twilight movie
your the best winggirl ever
...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
I've hit an all time low of asking baristas what would go good with marshmallow vodka. I think I might hire one to party with all of us. To make hangover drinks
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
And then she said "welcome homeeeee!!!" As she got off. Best thing about being back from Afghanistan
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
He broke his arm in a fistfight with the bouncer. it was neat.
Randomize
