READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
I just saw a woman parallel park a horse. Awesome. Only in New York..
So you have no knowledge as to why I am hearing loud repetitive mooing from next door?
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
I woke up covered in his pee. And then he poked me on Facebook.
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
She was horrified when I asked if they had any strap on chin dildos, I was at a sex shop for gods sake must I be judged everywhere
Dude, I brought the fucking tequila to that party and they cheered for the chick that seriously only brought limes.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
I would pay to watch a Bravo special of you getting Botox.
I like how I just yelled in the window at Mcdonalds drive thru, got his number and then fucked. it was like I ordered a happy meal that only can be had after midnight.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Do thigh high boots and a ball gag count as a costume?
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