She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
he thought i was a dude.
Sometimes, dog treats look like people treats.
don't worry, i have a range rover and a brother hopped up on steroids.. we can solve this little misunderstanding quite easily.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I think girls have an advantage in chugging contests. We know how to just open our throats.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
I just drunk texted the Italian guy and now I’m flooded with Shane. Uh, shame, not Shane. He sounds nice, though.
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
Randomize
