Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
The best part about living in a college town is the annual rush of senior girls who want to get in their lesbian experiment before they graduate.
His phone pocket dialed me while he was crapping. He was quietly singing stayin alive and possibly passing his intestines.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
I found a used condom and a hairbrush in my dryer this morning.
Hiring someone to do your laundry would be a good investment.
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