Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Thank you for leaving pool of vagina on my girlfriends carpet.
she sucked my dick to get the taste of the last guy's out. I need to find a new friend with benefits.
A friday night jus isn't the same if the cops don't raid my dorm
he actually managed to pick a girl up by telling her that her skirt was ugly and she didnt do a good job with her makeup. thats some seriously low selfesteem
What would you do in exchange for having a girl eat a waffle house waffle off your body?
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
You just kept screaming "PLEASE YELL CORNDOG AT HIM. PLEASE. CORNDOG."
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Just so we're clear, drunk and naked is not appropriate attire for Thanksgiving. Do it this year and Grandma will ban you for life.
Randomize
