that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
i seriously just saw a stripper from last weekend walk into the classroom next to me!!
Just got a lapdance on the metro. She said she was on maternity leave and needed the practice.
Well, McDonalds 'escorted' me out after I passed out mid-order
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
So I passed out with my boxers on in the hotel jacuzzi at 5am.. The manager who kicked me out was pretty cute so I left my name and number for her at the front desk. I'm giving it a 50/50 she calls.
True. On an unrelated note I helped post bail for both of our ex girlfriends last night. Russian roulette: guess which one is pregnant?
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Fucking in bar bathrooms doesn't count as "rushing things"
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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