I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
All I know is that we apparently made a drink we named The Single Girl which is rum, vodka, grain alcohol, and sprite and rolled around in the backyard.
I'll call you tomorrow. I'm ok and back i love you goodnight.
I stole a bike. Here's a pic
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
We should search craigslist for porches to sublet.
How do you tell someone who's buying a pregnancy test to have a nice day .... Like how
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Liz is crying about burritos again.
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
I'm spending my Sunday wishing the entire Patriots offense would let me touch their manhood
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Randomize
