Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
If there was a game called "keeping your legs shut," I would lose every time.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
So what kind of fun pills do we have for the amusement park tomorrow?
I think we might have a drinking problem when the ASU kids called us crazy
No one made them take a shot with us at the 12 hour mark. That's their bad
He jizzed all over my ID badge. HR is gonna be pissed...
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
He took a girl home at like eight, fucked her, kicked her out, came back to the bar, and repeated the process again at 10:30 and 2:30. THREE GIRLS IN ONE NIGHT. ALL PICKUPS. I HATE HIM.
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
I'm trying to secure Christmas dick. Idgaf if he has strep or not.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
