Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
He just "revenge puked" on her kid. I think we'll be leaving soon.
When I blacked in, I was crying to my father at the swim-up bar that "I was going to win an Oscar." how do you THINK Mexico was?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
He's in the hospital yelling at his brother to at least have stuck something "normal" up his ass.
Again?
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
I wanted to make fun of someone saying that to an untrained ear, skrillex is blah blah blah. But it was too soon after they said it. And now I can't find it. These are real problems.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
he has the ass of a greek god and he made me breakfast
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
I should not have moved in with him. He's got porn stashed everywhere like a homosexual squirrel.
You love porn!
Not in the sugar bowl when I'm making my Mom coffee I don't.
Randomize
