1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
I am not one to point fingers but since it says your name "wuz here" next to the dick drawn on my stomach I am holding you personally responsible.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
Don't go to sleep yet I need your Mexican roots. Can you come make guacamole
For me the most fucked up part of last night was that I know for a fact that you were sober. But your dancing was a close second.
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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