Apparently you make a good broom.
just by requesting 'I think we're alone now', not only did you achieve emptying the bar, but you also rubbed it in the owners face.
spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
I woke up with my keys safelty pinned to my thong. It's gonna be a great day.
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
She had a tattoo of Luke Bryan on her thigh and she made me waffles. Can I have two fiancees?
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
If it makes u feel any better my dick feels pretty tender dude
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Randomize
