so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
Court Ordered Rehab!!! Do you think I'll need a swimsuit?
he was so drunk he doesn't remember anything. I have to break up with him all over again
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
threw up in the library. i should be embarrassed, but i'm willing to bet that i'm one of the first so i'm kinda proud.
Right when he gets off the plane they're going straight to a party where you're only allowed in with a bottle of whisky and they are given bullet proof vests.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
How many people slept in the bouncy castle last night?
4 guys, 1 girl. Pretty sure were gonna have to pay the cleaning fee
OH GOD NOT SANTA BABY. NO NO NO. YOU'RE LIKE 85. OMG MULTIPLE WOMEN. NO NO NO STAHP.
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
