I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
im dirt poor will suck dick for halloween costume
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah. Rock bottom was him passing out and saying "are you putting a condom on me?" and me covering his mouth and saying shhhhh�
Who invented hangovers? And why did I make out with him and eat an entire can of chilli mixed with hot fries while screaming "YOU ONLY GRADUATE ONCE" last night?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
I'm going to fake an anxiety attack to get to the front of the line. Save me some brisket.
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
My sack is cleanly shaven and the rest of my body has been manscaped. i even put aftershave on my junk. i feel sleek like a fighter jet right now.
Randomize
