Bleh. If he hadn't ascended into heaven and sat at the right hand of the father, Jesus would be rolling over in his grave right now.
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
My dad just knocked on my door and told me that my vibrator was too loud
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
I have never made a good decision in that bathroom...
had to split buying plan b over two cards. I will no longer challenge people to get on my level
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
