whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
woke up in a garbage bag. literally. it was used as a sleeping bag.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
We were making out and then he stopped and said to me, "Your ship is right there, why don't you take your people and just go?"
I passed out leaning next to a light pole. When the cop woke me up at 4 AM, I told him I was a block away from the apt, just had to stop to make a puke pit stop.
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
I've got a permanent seat at the "Girls who eat their feelings" table this weekend.
NOLA update. Went to Corey Smith at the house of blues last night. Drank PBR and took lots of shots of Jack. Too drunk, cabbed it to the hotel and fell asleep while having sex. Not my finest moment. Now I'm in court. I can't wait to be your attorney.
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
I've never sung with balls in my mouth
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