Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
That was the apt with beer in the juice and the floor caving in. Don't go.
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
First things first, I always get more drunk than the birthday girl. Like, who's idea was it to sing karaoke? I killed it.
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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