Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
I have shoes on. No pants. And my jacket pockets are full of ketchup and grass. Yes. Good night.
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He tried to make small talk to hide the fact that he was struggling to unhook my bra... at least he tried right?
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
